Y'all got any specials?

I find it so unbelievably frustrating that people find what we sell "too expensive".  We are a used store.  Everything is vastly cheaper than anywhere else you will find it readily available.  We sell "New" release DVD movies for $10, Blu-Ray movies for about $15 and games for about $40.  Compare that to any other store....  IT'S FUCKING CHEAP.  How can you possibly whine about paying almost half for something when it is guaranteed to play like new.

 Nothing makes me happier than when someone tries to haggle down the price.

You can't go any cheaper on this?

No.  I wish I could spray people with a water bottle every time they do or say something stupid, just like my asshole of a cat.  We are not a flea market.  We will not lower our prices unless our competitors do.  No you did not see it for less at Target, I'm looking at their website as we speak.  *spray*  No, you can't get it for cheaper because you are ten dollars short.  Yes, you have to pay tax.  I shouldn't even have to explain any of this.  *spray*

I can't tell you how much I love when people ask about discounts and specials.

Do you guys give volume discounts?  Do you have any deals going on?

No.  You are an asshole for even thinking it.  Do you get a percentage off at Best Buy when you buy ten movies?  No, you pay for ten fucking movies.  We do give every 6th Item sold for free, but that deal is here every single day.  Apparently it's not good enough.  You want other deals.  Secret deals!  No, not for you Greedy McGee. 

There is a moral to this slight rant...  If you shop at a used store, you are getting a deal.  Plain and simple.

CHRILDEN!!!.... (Yes, that is misspelled on purpose.)

I really don't hate kids.  I hate shitty kids.  The ones who tear through everything in the store like its a fucking playground.  At least once a week I see a terrible parent drop their terrible child off at our store, and then proceed elsewhere.  We are not babysitters.  As much as I appreciate your kid spinning our clearance racks like a merry-go-round, I really don't feel like picking up 30 movies that were flung off said rack by said shitty child.  I really don't enjoy when they ask me a thousand questions that I have answered a thousand times. (I could go into a whole post about parents letting their kids ask questions/pay/call/etc... but that will have to wait.)

If you have kids, do everyone at retail a favor: FUCKING WATCH THEM.  I know it must be hard to have to watch them 24/7, but guess what, you were the one who got knocked up/did the knocking up.  I don't feel bad for you. Do like my other favorite parents do and get them a leash.  (pictures and stories to come later.)

CHRILDEN is in reference to this:

POE LEASE!

I just had a woman come in and ask us if we tried to shark people.  She didn't mean it in the sense of flashing your dick at someone, no, she meant it like we were there to screw people out of money.  I assured her we are competitive with our pricing.  She then warned me if we tried to shark her, that she would bite the shark back, and get the POE LEASE up in here. 

I hope to hell that a crazy person comes in and actually sharks her...

A quick side note.

I am constantly going to work on the layout and feel of the whole site.  I'm working on a banner right now for the title bar. (complete with a pile of shitty movies in the background!)  If you have feedback, hit me with it.  If you are going to be a dick, go gobble a bag of them...

How much? How much? How Much?

There is a reason I named this adventure, "How much can I get for this...?"  I get asked this question roughly 30,000 times a week.  It isn't necessarily always in that form, but god damn close.  I especially appreciate when people ask that question, while setting down a gigantic bag/box full of shit.

"Oh, you have 50+ movies in a black garbage bag tied off at the end so I have to tear it open.  Yeah I know the price right off the top of my head!"

The sheer fact that people bring stuff in a garbage bag makes me want to tell them to fuck off in the first three seconds.  It really shows how much you took care of your items considering you were so kind to put them in a Hefty bag. (With Odor Lock Technology!  The citrus scent is by far my favorite.)  People tend to forget that they are the salesperson in our store.  If you have a shitty product, we (The consumer/store) will not buy it.  REVERSE RETAIL FTW!

People definitely do not see us that way.  I swear they think we are a charity most of the time.  Has no one ever heard of this amazing thing called profit?  If we sell a movie for $3.99, you will not get $3.00.  I'm sorry but if our profit margins were only 33%, we would not be in business very long.  High school ECON was tough, i know, but it wasn't that hard.  Before you try selling to any re-sell shop... Think before you speak please.

I'll dive into this more later, but for now... I'm all out of the will to vent.

-The Employee-

Why am I here? *read me first!*

Let me just start off with a little bit of a back story.

I work at a small used media store. A tiny chain flying just below radar of corporate big box stores which works to our advantage. I'm leaving the name of the store, and myself, anonymous to allow myself to actually keep my job. So to you people, I will simply be known as "The Employee".

Being a store that gives out cash (and advertises this fact), we get the best of the best of interesting customers. Calling them the "Vampire and Hooker Crowd" would not even be doing them justice. More or less they are the "Vampire, Hooker, Coke-head, Wannabe Thief, Recluse, and Socially-Awkward Crowd."

Not all of the people who walk through The cold strip mall door is bat-shit crazy. We have a wonderful regular customer base. The young enthusiastic kids who come in multiple times a week. The College kids who kill time between classes. The almost 30 year-old males who dig to find those rare ass movies. The cartridge game people. The Blu-Ray obsessed Forum dwellers.

I love them all.

I plan on telling stories, sharing hilarious pictures, and possibly embarassing videos as much as I can. I want to grow this blog to a point where I could possibly have multiple people posting, telling their unique stories. I might even use this to review items that come into the store, I haven't decided yet. Either way my whole goal is to entertain. Hopefully I will succeed.

Now let me go over some ground rules for commenting:

1. Keep comments on topic, and legible.
2. No absolutely pointless posts.  (i.e. FIRST!)
3. If you actually know my Identity, DO NOT DISCLOSE IT!
4. If you know the name of the store, DO NOT DISCLOSE IT!
5. Have fun with the comments, but never troll

If you ever happen to break any of these rules, I will throw the ban-hammer down HARD.

Now that the not fun stuff is out of the way, on with the stories!